This was written upon finding out that my Grandma had chosen to Die with Dignity.. Flailing My emotions flailing, my mind racing Pacing, pacing, pacing I search my sole for the answers Why did you too have to get Cancer Are you weak or are you strong Before long you will be gone The future is in your hands Only you know where you stand I want to say don’t do it I want to kick and hit The choice is yours to make How much courage will it take Questions fill my head I can’t believe that is what was said You think you know the reasons You have seen so many more seasons Now your feet are planted Did I take our time left with you for granted To know what you will miss To know that it will be our last kiss You say goodnight and I say goodbye We are left to know you are going to die Are you weak or are you strong Knowing that you can’t hang on It breaks my heart to know you want to go When inside I know Is the choice your to make When our hearts will break Our loss is your gain You will no longer be in pain You know we forgive you We see your point of view Your life is in your hands Will you fill us in on your plans Do we get to know When you choose to go Are you going to ask us to be there To think we will know when and where I want to be thankful and forgive I also want you to live My heart and mind are torn I’m not sure how to feel about being warned To know when the day will come Your days will be done It makes my heart ach To know that everything is at stake We don’t need any more proof We no longer question the truth You were given a decision to make It still seems so fake As you lay down to sleep Only our memories we have to keep I think that you are stronger Knowing that you can’t go on any longer In my dreams you will visit In my heart you will sit Together you will be I’m sure you can’t wait to see Your sole mate has waited That I am sure you have hated Two hearts together at last So much time has past Waiting, waiting, waiting You have been fading Peace will soon come What is done will be done Together we will gather No place would we rather Smiles wet with tears Thankful for all our years We let you go in peace Our love will only increase - Sarah S. Price

2014 Seven years have passed For so many years I had asked How long does it take to heal heart break? Seven years, for goodness sake Valentines has never been the same No one to blame Red and Pink hearts all around Instead of smile, I frown Will it ever be the same? Can I get back to the love game? In ways I have healed Somehow my heart sealed A patch remains Was that my gain? Guilt of no longer feeling broken Was that the dropped token? 2,55 That’s how long you have been in heaven Now to manage this new feeling Guilt of healing With fond memories my mind is often flood No longer drenched in crud The yearning to feel guilt free I know you would agree It’s time to be free Time to let it go Time to know Stop dreading and fretting Be reminded, open minded This day represents love Let that rise above Enjoy St. Valentine It’s time to realign Let it go This I know

This was from 2008. The day is drawing near My heart only fills with fear Soon a year will have come and gone It doesn’t seem that you have been gone that long February 14, 2007 Still you wait in heaven No longer hurting and in pain Tears still falling like rain As if after one year I would feel better I find solace in writing you letters Tear drop stained paper, with ink seeping outward I still feel like a coward Hiding tears from those near and dear As if we are all in the clear How long does it take for the heart to mend You would think it would with all the prayers that I send Is my heart any less broken As the wheel of time turns, you would think it could drop me a token I would buy a little time Just a moment to feel fine Your death is still so hard to accept No one understands to what depth I feel the blackness and the chill Does anyone have a pill A Band-aid or stitch Nothing seems to scratch this itch I am not only broken but, bruised I feel as if all of my will has been used Isn’t black supposed to fade in to green What does all of this mean Who has the answers When the best I come up with is fuck Cancer I know that can’t be right My thoughts drift you night after night Will I ever feel right I should have moved on Some how I can’t with you gone I stopped asking why over and over It was as if I found a four leaf clover A stroke of luck came my way But, that was only for one day There is no gravesite to visit, no headstone, and no flowers Just a box full of ashes, as I walk by, I feel your powers One day we will spread you And when we do My only hope is to one day join you I find peace in that thought And that is all I have got Hope that one day I find you and we are both ok