Update

I am convinced that time will only pass faster as my girls grow up. No matter how much attention I pay to the minute, hour or day, it passes all too quickly. We try very hard to remain as a family when ever possible, while paying attention to the need for individual time with both girls as well, not forgetting that we each need alone time too. It is a hard task to manage but, a necessity really. Life passes so quickly and it is so easy to get wrapped up in the day to day and let those moments zip past us with out even taking a moment to relax in the joy of them. I feel that life will be filled with times that our children choose not to “hang out” with us and the time that we have left being the most amazing people and the favorite person to our children are limited, I have made a conscious choice to embrace these moments and absorb as many of the minutes as I am given and not let a single moment pass without giving thanks for it. I try my best to find balance between not loosing myself and not loosing the moments, it is a tricky teeter totter of life and parenthood. I give thanks for the gift of parenthood, being a Mother is not only the most rewarding gift in my life so far it is also the most challenging, just when I think I have it figured out, another milestone passes and I am tossed a new curve ball. I find peace in that every mom has the same struggles I do but, I yearn for a peace found within to help pace myself and find a smile and a new way to deal with the little things and let more things roll instead of finding the breaking point so quickly. It is a constant struggle, the transition from business woman to mommy-mode, a daily task in which much preparation takes place, knowing that the last moments of having my own uninterrupted thoughts, my choice of music or to hold a conversation on the phone with out thought as to what I am saying and who is absorbing it are dwindling all while a race against the clock to get boobs to baby and dinner on the stove, only to rush in to PJ time, Potty Time, and Book Time and BED before meltdown. I constantly ask myself how certain I am that the full-time working Mom routine is worth it. Would the monetary sacrifice be worth the moments? I constantly convince myself otherwise and try to be sure and make every dollar worth the sacrifice made. I have tried to make it a point to spend one day per weekend doing something that I know is just for the girls, not necessarily something that we spend money on but, quality family time. It maybe something as simple as a trip to the park or lying in the sun, playing in the backyard but, I try to focus on time and conversation with my girls. This has seemed to provide a sort of peace of mind, knowing that I am trying to make quality memories and moments instead of the day to day routine that I am missing out on. Ten months have past since Jayma was born, she is ready to walk. Madigyn is quickly approaching her Third birthday and we hold entire complete conversations. The fact that ten months have flown by and a complete conversation still blow my mind, if I stop and think about it. A friend once told me that I was meant to be a mother and that the sacrifices I make in order to breastfeed for a year make me a better mother than her. I have to say that I do not agree with that statement. I do agree that being a mother is by far my greatest accomplishment in my life and that I wouldn’t change it for the world, I would also concur that I love being a Mom and some of it does come natural. It wouldn’t be fair to say that I didn’t learn from example and give my own mother the credit she has earned as well. My mother is the prime example of the selfless, all loving, non-judging mother that I strive to be. With out her, I would not be me, nor would I be the mother I am today. Of course every child has the need to change a few things in parenting that they feel were not correct and times change, time calls for change as well. I choose not to let Jayma teeth on a piece of beef jerky, my mom seems to think all of us kids turned out just fine and we all teethed on jerky. I am sure nothing I could say would change my mom’s opinion of the situation but, that is one liberty I get as a mom, I get to decide what is best for my children and the only other person who needs to agree with me is their father. I think every parental unit struggles with finding the fine line, the happy medium. I feel confident that Brad and I have done so, I feel that we are on the same level, we treat our children the same, discipline the same. I think the tricky part is entering the situation of socialization and entering an environment where you are not the only parent and it is not your home, therefore not your rules. It is hard to maintain a sense of control and remain consistent when the environment or the rules have changed, this is very hard for a soon to be three year old to grasp. I try to explain to her that it is ok for things to be different; this is one of her struggles. If I put a certain toy in a certain spot one time, the next time she wants it back in that spot. I always lock the door behind me; she has locked me out plenty of times by doing what she sees me do. As much as I try to keep a nice schedule and abide by the “rules”, I also try to teach her flexibility and let her know that things are not always the same.

Madigyn’s birthday has passed since I started this blog. Brad and I took the day off of work and went as a family to the Zoo; we then had lunch at the mall and went to Build-a-bear workshop. We had an amazing day and I am sure Madigyn’s birthday was memorable. I am very glad we decided to take the day off. We celebrated her birthday this weekend with friends and family at Round Table Pizza and then went to Jungle Playland. The party turned out wonderful and she had a blast. Sunday, we finished up the weekend with a pumpkin hunt with my family, a train ride, bouncy house, a hay ride on a tractor and then lunch at Red Robin we took lots of pictures and it was great.

I am now planning Jayma’s 1st birthday party, and time is just whizzing by…